The gas chamber

SO there I was sitting on the cold bleachers listening to LCPL Arbalez explain how the gas mask works and how the MOP gear protects your skin from noxious gases but all that was going through my head was "holy crap I really really dont want to do this." I kept flashing back to bootcamp, this time sitting on a wooden bench listening to a female sgt explain the same things that LCPL Arbalez was explaining but to 500 female and male recruits. My brain housing group was still fresh, no horrible memories of the gas chamber. I had no idea what to expect. After the quick PME from the sgt all of us lined up outside the chamber. We took everything out of our pockets and placed the contents on our raggedy covers. I donned and cleared my mask one more time before I walked in the cement building praying to god it worked. Well it did not work and I could immediately feel the gas seeping into the pores of my face. That exact memory kept occuring while I was standing next to a female cpl in my shop and my best friend LCPL Goff. With tears in my eyes I kept telling Goff that I didnt want to do this and all the while I was working myself up because the gas mask makes it much harder to breath. So there I was with my gas mask on breathing harder than I am used to which was making me feel clostrophobic. Its something you can't imagine until you are doing it. The NBC (nuclear biological chemicals) Master Sargeant came up to me because he could see I was scared. He calmed me down with stories of when he was scared in an actual NBC attack. This made me realise that the CS gas wont kill me it will just hurt pretty bad. I still kept flashing back to the feeling of not being able to breath or see. Finally it was my time to walk into the chamber. With my best friend and my corporal on each side I entered what I feared the most in the Marine Corps. We walked in and found the yellow block to stand on. I could immediately feel the gas seeping into my mask just like it had done in boot camp. FUCK! I remained calm. Its funny that smell, I could recognize it anywhere, something like old eggs. I did as the lcpl in charge did, and looked all the way to the left, then all the way to the right. Up then down. Next we bent down at the waist and shook our heads vigorously as if there was something in our hair we were trying to get out. That is when my eyes started watering to the point where I couldn't see. Arbalez could see that I was in pain so he pulled me aside then realizing that I was in trouble he pulled me out of the chamber. HOW EMBARASSING! I walked out of the chamber by myself infront of the whole battalion. I took off the mask and there was snot and tears all over my face. I couldn't wipe anything off because the CS gas was on my gloves and that would only make things worse. You can't wear contacts in the gas chamber because the CS gas will burn them into your eyes and glasses wont fit under your mask. I am very blind without my glasses so I couldn't see anything around me. My gunny came up to me to see if I was alright. One thing that nobody else did so that made me respect him even more. But there I was with snot all over my face just chillin talking to my gunnery sargeat and a master sargeant. Not cool. They gave me a new harness because of my bun on the back of my head, I couldnt get a good seal. The second time I went in, it was a completely different story. I got a good seal, I donned and cleared my mask like a pro. Now I have all the confidence in the world in my M40 protective mask. Just a day in the life of a marine.